OLD BELIEFS

walter, david
In the Renaissance, some European doctors believed that masturbation caused a condition known as "desiccation," which, according to them, dried out the body by depleting its vital fluids. To counteract this, they recommended baths in milk or warm wine to restore the body's moisture, and some even prescribed a diet rich in juicy fruits to make up for the supposed loss of fluids.

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I don’t think I was ready for this.

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MY FAVORITE PLACE

david
After the bedroom, the bathroom takes the silver medal as the favorite place to masturbate. And it makes perfect sense. The door lock guarantees privacy, no one questions if you spend a while in there, and most importantly—the shower and bathtub are right there to make life easier and a whole lot more pleasurable.

The warm water, the soothing sound of the faucet running, and the chance to be completely alone without raising any suspicions make the bathroom the perfect setting for some quality solo time. It doesn’t matter if you prefer the shower’s water stream, the heat of the water running down your skin, or simply the fact that it's a private escape within your home. One thing’s for sure: the bathroom is much more than a place to wash up and relieve yourself—it’s a temple, a sanctuary of pleasure.



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All set to watch the game.

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CHOOSE YOUR ROUTINE

david
They say drinking lemon water on an empty stomach every morning is great for your body and helps prevent various illnesses. Others swear that starting the day with a spoonful of olive oil is the key to rock-solid health. And then there are those who claim that a glass of water with baking soda will alkalize you and leave your body feeling brand new.

But if all that sounds too complicated or you just can’t be bothered, don’t worry: a good wank first thing in the morning works just as well. No weird juices, no spoonfuls of oil, no baking soda. Just you, your hand, or your favorite toy, and the satisfaction of starting the day with energy.



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Out of my way! Amateurs! Step aside and learn!

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AVOIDING MASTURBATION IN THE 11TH CENTURY

javi, br, oscar, walter, david
In the Middle Ages, masturbation was considered a serious sin by the Church, and monks had rather extreme methods to avoid it. Some would sleep with iron gloves lined with spikes to make any nocturnal attempt painful. Others, following the advice of theologian Saint Peter Damian in the 11th century, slept with their arms crossed over their chests or even tied their hands to resist temptation.

It was also believed that certain foods, such as red meat and spices, increased "lust," so monks followed very restricted diets based on bread, legumes, and fish to suppress any sexual urges.

While these ideas may seem extreme today, their influence still lingers. Even after centuries, sex and masturbation remain taboo topics in many countries where Christianity has played a major role. In many ways, the stigma surrounding sexuality today has its roots in that era. As the saying goes: you reap what you sow.



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Let this video be a reminder that, today, Monday, February 10, 2025, everything has changed.

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MASTURBATING IS FOR HOTTIES VOL317

I hope your week has been at least somewhat entertaining, thanks to ALRNCN. Nothing would make me happier. Well, maybe a few things would—like checking the lottery and finding out I’m a millionaire, or a Dubai sheikh deciding to fund me just for fun, waking up to breakfast in bed prepared by Margot Robbie in lingerie, or Elon Musk randomly wiring me a couple of million just “for the lols.” Or even bumping into Angela White, having her twist her ankle, bringing her home to ice it, and then getting absolutely ravaged by her as a thank-you. That too.

But without a doubt, knowing that ALRNCN is keeping you entertained is also on the list of things that make me happy. I don’t know in what position, but trust me, you’re on there.

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Kanchō (カンチョー)

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TIED WITH A CHAIN

You know those pens that are tied with a chain in some bank branches to prevent customers from taking them home? It's the same idea.



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A good massage.

Full video

She is the actress Noelle Easton, and in this other link, you can watch some of her scenes.




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THE ADVICE OF MARCUS AURELIUS

david, vikingo
Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, has become the unexpected idol of modern success gurus. If you follow those influencers who sell self-help books, you’ve probably seen his quotes everywhere, as if they were the ultimate code to becoming rich, invincible, and emotionally unshakable. “Control your thoughts,” “the obstacle is the way,” “don’t worry about what you can’t change”… Basically, if Marcus Aurelius were alive today, he’d have his own podcast and be selling courses on "practical Stoicism for entrepreneurs."

Now, the reality is that Marcus Aurelius was a seriously busy guy—wars, plagues, betrayals, and the entire weight of the Roman Empire on his shoulders. In his famous Meditations, which were really more of a personal diary he never expected anyone to read, he focused on ideas like self-discipline, virtue, and detachment from unnecessary pleasures. He didn’t directly mention masturbation, but he did talk about the importance of not being ruled by bodily impulses. So, it’s safe to say he probably had a few internal monologues when he felt like taking a moment for himself.

But here’s the interesting part: today we know that masturbation is an excellent tool for relieving stress, improving focus, and even getting better sleep. So, if Marcus Aurelius had taken a little break from war to unwind, he might have fought with fewer worries. In fact, if he managed to keep the Roman Empire standing without masturbating, imagine what he could’ve achieved if he had. He might have discovered America, walked on the Moon, and even invented the internet.



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Which one of them had a better time?

She’s Emily Willis, and you can find many more of her scenes at this link




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